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From an esoteric point of view your birth chart is a portrait of your soul's intention for this lifetime, the lessons to be learned, qualities to develop, problems to be resolved, service to be rendered. From that perspective, the choices one makes in one's daily life have reverberations that may last beyond even this lifetime.
This report is written to help you clarify your lessons and goals, illuminate your struggles, and encourage you to move in the direction of your true purposes.
The best to you on your journey...
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Sun 13 Can 23 Pluto 23 Gem 45
Moon 29 Tau 43 N. Node 23 Can 55
Mercury 6 Leo 20 Asc. 23 Leo 31
Venus 24 Gem 20 MC 23 Tau 21
Mars 13 Cap 24 2nd cusp 21 Vir 03
Jupiter 20 Can 26 3rd cusp 21 Lib 36
Saturn 27 Pis 27 5th cusp 24 Sag 21
Uranus 10 Cap 37 6th cusp 24 Cap 17
Neptune 12 Can 24
Tropical Placidus Local Mean Time observed
GMT: 15:06:40 Time Zone: 0 hours West
Lat. and Long. of birth: 19 N 20 99 W 10
Aspects and orbs:
Conjunction : 5 Deg 00 Min Trine : 4 Deg 00 Min
Opposition : 5 Deg 00 Min Sextile : 3 Deg 00 Min
Square : 4 Deg 00 Min Quincunx : 3 Deg 00 Min
Conjunct Asc: 3 Deg 00 Min Above, 5 Deg 00 Min Below
Chapter 1: The Moon
The placement of the Moon in your birth chart is very significant from a karmic perspective, as it indicates the accumulated karmic tendencies, both positive and negative, that you carry from your past incarnated experiences on earth.
While the Sun reveals your intended purposes and lessons for this present life cycle, the MOON represents what you have already done and developed, hence, what is instinctive and natural to you, and what you tend to do over and over again. Your childhood is also reflected in the Moon's placement, as it is through those childhood circumstances that any unresolved past-life issues are re-stimulated. Your subconscious predisposition is indicated by the Moon's position. It is the psychic imprint of the past. The nodes of the Moon describe behavior patterns from the past, as well as delineating a direction out of outworn or overdone behaviors and habits.
Moon in Taurus:
You instinctively react to stress with patience and forbearance, and can withstand a great deal of buffeting or pressure without losing your emotional stability. Slow to respond to provocation, you are not easily knocked off center and you maintain your inner poise even under trying circumstances.
Your incarnational past has been one of being deeply rooted in family and tradition, close to nature and the land, amidst relatively stable and peaceful conditions. Working on, or owning land, and living in accordance with nature's rhythms and cycles, gave you a deep sense of security which carries through to your present life in a number of ways. First is your preference for natural surroundings and your gift for growing things. You find comfort in your garden or even a drive through the countryside. Growing and working with plants and herbs can also be soothing to you for the same reason -- you have done so before and it is very familiar to you. Cooking and eating the food you have prepared seems to nourish you on levels besides the physical one. Relying on food to satisfy emotional needs or to promote a sense of security can obviously be a mixed blessing. You are a sensual person, and the touch of another person, your bare feet on earth, the feel of a tool in your hand: these are both pleasurable and comforting. All of these basic, natural, earthy activities, (gardening, farming, cooking, eating) are types of experiences you now instinctively seek out when feeling threatened in any way. Your deeply ingrained, down-to-earth common sense and basic practical skills give you a good foundation for taking care of yourself.
Another attribute you have developed in the past is your ability to stay with something and to wait long and patiently for an outcome. You intuitively understand the need for a gestation time, a period of inner preparation, waiting, and seeming inactivity before the fruits or the outward blossoming can happen. You have a kind of emotional stamina which enables you to "keep on keeping on", especially in regard to personal situations and relations. However, in many instances your apparent loyalty is little more than a slavish adherence to habit, and a tremendous disinclination to disrupt the status quo. When faced with the need to change, your initial response is to STAY PUT. Getting stuck in a rut is a great temptation for you. Having had little experience in moving around or adapting to changing circumstances, you now tend to retreat into the known and to stubbornly cling to the familiar rather than greeting upcoming changes with a sense of adventure or curiosity. Even a move which is positive, and very much desired by you consciously is apt to be met with some strong inner, unconscious resistance, and a great need for reassurance. Latching on to your children, long-time friends, or family members, becoming very territorial and possessive of your belongings, being constantly and excessively concerned with money and financial security (even when you are not in lack), or as mentioned above, indulging in food for comfort, are all indications that some part of you feels that you are moving away from tradition (and thus safety) too quickly. You need to learn how to nourish yourself and to feel secure without trying to control everything and everybody. While you would prefer sameness, you need to accept a certain amount of "chaos". Not every variable can be accounted for and not all of the unpredictability, mystery, and risk in life can be eliminated!
You may find yourself attracting people into your life who are drawn to your emotional steadiness and your earthy groundedness. You can be relied upon and others sense this. One gift you have to share with others is your well-developed knack for handling financial matters, and the material side of life in general.
North Node in Cancer:
In your incarnational past, your worldly ambitions, duties, or responsibilities took precedence over you. Discipline and rules were more important than emotion. Your growth direction now is to learn to trust, feel, and give and receive nourishment, care, support, and tenderness.
North Node in 11th house:
In this lifetime there is also a definite movement within you toward broader social involvement and influences, and away from creating in isolation or strictly ego - gratifying accomplishment. Your past tendencies will be particularly active in your relationships to your children (physical or creative).
Chapter 2: The Sun
The Sun in your birth chart represents the primary creative thrust for this lifetime, those qualities you are to develop (or further develop) and express, and your current life focus. This may be in harmony with your instincts and your emotional habits, or along completely different lines. The Sun represents your conscious identity in this lifetime.
Sun in Cancer:
In terms of soul development, your capacity for deep emotional attachment and emotional union, for merging on a feeling level, and for sympathetic understanding and compassionate feeling, are among your primary concerns in this lifetime.
Your ability to discover and express who you are revolves around the themes of nurturing and of creating a home and deep roots, which will nourish you and give you confidence.
In the simplest possible form, this could be expressed as having a family and centering your life around caring for your mate and children, basking in the warmth and closeness and security of home. There are other ways for the same basic impulse to be expressed, however. Regardless of your gender and whether or not you have flesh-and-blood children or consider yourself very domestic, you do need to "mother" (nurture, support, take care of, protect, cherish) and to have a sense of belonging, a sense of family, and a sense of continuity with the past. The family however, can be a spiritual family or group of close friends; the home, an inner home or base of security you create deep within; and the mothering you do may be through your work instead of with your own kin. This is very likely to be the case, in fact, if your childhood and family of origin was not especially nurturing or close. Your work may directly involve children or providing emotional support or literally feeding people, but it may be more subtle than that. For instance, if you are a business person, you may feel that your employees and customers (especially the loyal, long time ones) are your family and try to take care of them as such. You care about their personal lives and feel for their troubles, and like a good mother you see them through tough times. Or, to give another example, as an artist you may regard your "babies" with such affection and attachment that it is hard for you to sell them. You want to make sure they go to "a good home"! Whatever form it takes, this emotional attachment and sympathetic feeling are the core of your life. There are pitfalls and potential difficulties on this path, such as, becoming overly dependent on being needed and thus unable to graciously let go when the "child" outgrows you, living in or holding on to the past (including old hurts and grudges), and feeling deeply threatened by "outsiders", non-family members, foreigners. You also tend to be powerfully conditioned by your early home life and your experience of being mothered. If your own nurturing as a child was unsatisfying, you may wander through life "on empty", desperately seeking the love and security you missed as a child. Or, instead, to rigidly deny that you need anybody, building protective walls around yourself to keep out the fearful world. Afraid of having your tender insides exposed, as well as of your own emotional neediness, you may over eat or over drink to pacify your longing. Becoming obsessively interested in the past or with money as a form of security are also ways you express yourself when you are out of balance. An overly close, smothering relationship to mother, or to "the way things are done in our family" can also prevent you from becoming a full-fledged individual in your own right, the proverbial cutting of the apron strings being rather difficult for you.
Sometimes, to fill your need for roots and belonging and a meaningful connection to the past, you may choose to align your-self with a period in history with which you feel a deep resonance, a particular culture or subculture, or a spiritual lineage of teachers. This conscious choosing of "family" or "home" may be one of the most positive acts you can do for yourself.
Another aspect of your ability to feel sympathetically and to emotionally merge with others is that you are very "psychic". Learning to listen to your deeper intuition and to use your psychic sensitivity may well be a significant aspect of your life path.
Sun Opposition Mars:
In this life you are learning to embody and express the energies of the warrior; courage, action, forcefulness, the ability to fight for what you want and need. However, these positive qualities can quickly degenerate into unnecessary and excessive aggression, discordant relationships, even violence. Your tendency to be impatient and hot headed, and to see everyone as a potential competitor or rival, may draw out the anger and combativeness in other people. Your challenge is to learn to use your overabundant energy in productive, or at least not destructive, action.
Sun Opposition Uranus:
In many ways you "dance to the beat of a different drummer", and thus may feel out of step with the "norms" and societal expectations of the majority of mainstream culture. Even if you appear, or actually are, conservative in some respects, you are intended to question authority, break old rules, and introduce progressive change into the world. You are fulfilling your destiny when you are innovating. You need to be using your creative intelligence, inspiration, and opening up new channels of expression. You are "an original", unusual in some way, not one to follow the prescribed ways of living or being. Unless you surround yourself with others who share your unusual interests and inclinations, you may feel like a "weirdo" or an outsider. Certainly there are people who would consider you too "far-out", and you may enjoy provoking these people, shocking them, shaking up their limited world-view. You can be prone to a kind of extremism, embracing anything new, experimental or avant-garde simply because it is novel. You are likely to reject "normal", regardless of its intrinsic value. You tend to be impatient with convention, bureaucracy, the old school, and are unwilling to compromise yourself for the sake of fitting in. Freedom, self-expression, and individualism are very dear to you, and there is a part of you which finds any sort of commitment or mutual dependency binding and irksome. There is a rather impersonal quality to you in that your allegiance is to yourself, living your own truth, and "going where the spirit moves you" first and fore-most. Though you are apt to go to extremes, it is still important for you to live out these impulses which others may find odd or incomprehensible; otherwise you are apt to become quite tense, unhappy, and out of step, not only with convention but even with yourself.
You do need to incorporate steadiness, rhythm, and regularity into your existence in some way, in order to utilize your creative genius and originality to its fullest. The use of certain gemstones and crystals may be of some benefit to you, including clear quartz, topaz, fire agate, and opals.
Sun Conjunct Neptune:
In this lifetime you identify yourself with your generation's particular dreams, ideals, spiritual aspirations and/or its illusions and escapist urges. That is, you are in some way the channel or mouthpiece for those inner yearnings and spiritual themes that tone your entire generation. This can have numerous consequences, some more pleasant to experience and deal with than others. First of all, you may have an unclear or confused sense of yourself as a separate entity and of your place in the world. You are apt to either vastly overestimate or underestimate your personal worth and your potentials due to an unrealistic or fuzzy sense of who you are. Put bluntly, you may think you are God or that you have nothing, a non-entity. Your relationship to your father is of particular significance: you either idealize him or are confused about who he really is. Learning how to be effective, or even how to survive in the marketplace, may come late for you and from sources other than your father.
Your self-expression is colored either by your fanciful imagination or your spiritual awareness and realization. Positively you could direct your energies into spiritual pursuits, creative and imaginative endeavors, or living your life inspired by a higher consciousness. But if you do not harness and focus your energies, you are apt to drift aimlessly, or to deceive yourself with glamorous visions of greatness which turn out to be fools' gold. You are directly attuned to the intangible world, the spiritual realm. Whether you can maintain a clear and realistic grounding in the physical world will determine the degree of success you achieve, not just materially but also in terms of soul-development.
Chapter 3: Rising Sign
The point that was on the eastern horizon at the moment of your birth is called the ASCENDANT, or rising sign. While the Sun describes your conscious direction and current life focus, and the Moon your subconscious predisposition and past, the Ascendant indicates a way of being that transcends and embraces past, present, and future. It describes the way you engage and merge with the outer world and how you bring through into life the energies depicted by the Sun, the Moon, and the rest of your birth chart. Everything is filtered through the Ascendant from an esoteric point of view. It indicates your soul's function and thus a key part of your destiny.
Everything you do is done with pride, creativity and a sense of your own uniqueness. The desires to be a shining star and to stand out as an individual color all of your interactions with the world. At best, this motivates you to excel, to achieve at the highest level possible for you and to be a bighearted, generous, magnanimous, and honorable person. Others' successes and talents inspire you. You applaud and appreciate individuality, creativity and the spirit and joy of life wherever you see it being expressed. Warmth and benevolence flow from you and others are attracted to your heart, your radiance, your strength. You carry the qualities of the archetypal ruler. You are King or Queen of your realm.
If you express the lower side of this energy, however, the picture is much less lovely. You are terribly narcissistic, self-centered, excessively concerned with being impressive, respected and admired. You cannot share the glory and usurp the credit for others' contributions. You want to "out-do" everybody else. You do not admit your mistakes, you are domineering and cannot let people get too close to you lest they discover you are not as great as you would like them to believe. You are either overly self-conscious or you have to put yourself forward and be seen and heard on all occasions. Your very presence dominates the scene in ways that more subtle, quiet individuals find intrusive. However, if other factors in your birth chart give you a sense of proportion, humility, and a genuine awareness of other people, these negative tendencies are much less pronounced. Your soul-function does involve leadership, or being "out there" on the stage of life in a significant way. You can be even more effective and fulfilled in this if you stay focused on giving from your heart instead of your ego.
Chapter 4: Saturn, Your Achilles Heel
Karmically considered, the placement of Saturn in your birth chart indicates where your energetic blockages, weaknesses and fears lie, and the areas of your life where the most concentrated effort and discipline will be required to master and overcome them. Yet it also points to the aspects of life which can become your greatest strength if you are willing to face your fears and difficulties honestly, and work with them patiently.
Saturn in Pisces
You are overly sensitive, and may put up walls and isolate yourself in order to escape the threats that the outside world seems to pose. Vague fears and feelings of being helpless, powerless or victimized by forces greater than yourself may plaque you, and overcoming self doubt, discouragement, loneliness and these "fears of unknown origin" is an ongoing task for you.
You are also apt to feel a strong need to atone for some wrong you have done, even if you can not consciously recall what harm you have caused or why you feel that way. You feel a desire to redeem yourself or purge your guilt (whether earned or not), perhaps through some personal sacrifice. Guilt is your Achilles heel - and you need to carefully examine such feelings, for you may be carrying a cross that is not yours to bear.
You may be afraid of anything that is consciousness -altering (drugs, alcohol, even spiritual exploration) and this may be well-founded. You could lose yourself in any of these. However, a focused, disciplined attitude towards the expansion of consciousness, a particular "path" or a set of regular spiritual practices, etc. can be very stabilizing and helpful to you. Part of your challenge is how to make real and concrete your compassionate, altruistic, idealistic hopes and longings.
Saturn in 8th house:
You have a tendency to protectively withhold yourself and to not give your all. Thus you experience much frustration either sexually, financially, or both. The possibility of a merger (whether on a deep psychic, emotional level, or even in a material way) brings up some of your greatest fears. Sexual politics and issues of personal power and control (all involving an inability to surrender) are apt to be at work behind the scenes. Taking on a karmic debt through your partner or being burdened financially or otherwise by him or her is also possibility. Confronting your fears of giving everything, opening yourself completely and letting go come through these situations.
A fear of not being in control may well be the root of many of your protective, defensive, and ultimately self-defeating behavior which you play out in your intimate relationships. Also, a deep concern with death and mortality is evident. Learning to let go, to surrender with grace and ease, to die, based on a basic trust in life may be your greatest challenge.
Saturn Square Venus:
In this lifetime the arena of human relationships and personal love will be full of challenge and lessons for you. Love is hard to find, hard to sustain, or just plain hard! Shyness and loneliness, due mostly to an acute sensitivity to the possibility of rejection, are apt to plague your younger years. Even when friendship and open affection is offered to you, you are prone to doubt it, push it away in disbelief, or feel unworthy of it. Pure, unadulterated pleasure in any form discomforts you. Subconsciously at least, you believe that there is a price to be paid for any love or pleasure you receive, that you may be punished if you enjoy too much or love too much. There is an inner link between love and loss, love and separation, or love and punishment that inhibits you or makes you wary. Worst of all, you may feel that you are unlovable or unwanted. All of this is a karmic carry-over which needs to be handled with great compassion toward yourself. You may have toughened up and hardened your heart a great deal due to past injury, so that you have acted in cold, unfeeling, ungenerous, or unloving ways towards others and yourself. Perhaps, too, you have put work or other responsibilities ahead of the needs and desires of your heart. An opening and healing of the heart, first of all by cherishing yourself, is necessary. Once you start valuing yourself, your personal relationships will reflect that, and happiness in love in your later years can do much to make up for the earlier difficulties.
You might wish to wear or carry rose quartz, tourmaline, lavender, jade, or chrysoprase.
Saturn Square Pluto:
You have an opportunity in this lifetime to clear away some very deep and destructive karmic patterns which are related to ancestral and group experience as well as the personal, experiences such as devastating loss and/or mass death. In order to release yourself from the psychic wounds you carry, you will have to enter into the darkest regions of humanity and your own soul. Periods of isolation and deep loneliness, or feelings of being cut off from all external sources of support are also a part of this pattern.
You may find yourself drawn to periods in history that seem to touch a deep chord within you. You are drawn to times in which cruelty, oppression, misuses and abuses of power and very dark forces were at work, such as the Nazi holocaust, the inquisition, witch burnings. In whatever ways you find to clear away the fears, hatred, bitterness, and desire to retaliate or destroy, etc. that you harbor from those times, you will be contributing to healing these atrocities on a mass level as well. You may also carry a powerful unconscious charge of guilt related to your own past abuses which can lead to self destructive urges. Bringing this into a place where forgiveness and release can happen is very important soul work for you.
Chapter 5: The Hard Aspects
The following is a description of your MAJOR LIFE CHALLENGES, both in terms of energies you are to learn to develop and express in a positive way, and those which are the result of struggles and unresolved karmic issues which you have brought into this life.
Venus Conjunct Pluto:
The realm of human love and human relating is not one you can enter into lightly or casually. For you it is always an all-or-nothing, whole-hearted, and ultimately transformative experience. Great joy and tremendous pain, betrayals, intense desire, and longings are part of your soul's path and pattern in this lifetime. A deepening of your heart and your capacity to love, as well as a purification of your values, is what this is all about. It may be the loss of one particular person in a particularly poignant and excruciating way, or a series of encounters which bring you ever deeper into your own attachments. Even abusive relationships may be the arenas in which this occurs. Ultimately, you are meant to discover the power of love to heal, to renew and resurrect your own and others' lives.
The darker side or temptation on this path is to use love (or attractiveness, and others' love for you) to control, manipulate, or force your will upon them. A love of power -instead of the power of love - would then be your downfall.
Mars is Retrograde:
Asserting yourself vigorously and directly is complicated by the fact that you had a prior lifetime or lifetimes in which aggression was either misused (by you, or against you) and/or all personal initiative and self-will was insistently discouraged (perhaps due to a belief system that advocated passivity).
In any case, the message that was impressed upon you was that forceful action is wrong or dangerous. Thus, if you stand up for yourself, you now tend to hesitate, back down or even be plagued with fears of retaliation.
Mars Conjunct Uranus:
You are like a very high-spirited, temperamental horse, full of great energy and drive, but also impulsive, erratic, fitful, and prone to sudden starts and stops. Also there is within you a fierce independence, a strong craving for freedom, and at times a fiery rebelliousness. If you have free rein, you can be relatively happy, though not ever completely "settled" or contentedly serene for long. Under conditions that are too structured and constricted, however, you are more apt to blow up.
When out of balance you are prone to express yourself in ways that can have negative karmic consequences, such as: irritable impatience and a volatile, unpredictable temper (which can affect your health as well as damage the trust and quality of your relationships); intense restlessness (resulting in an inability to persist with a project long enough to see it through to completion); a complete unwillingness to cooperate or compromise (which also can undermine relationships, particularly with authority); physical recklessness (which an lead to accidents); and/or the inclination to ignite controversy and unrest in your environment. Because of your high (if somewhat unstable) energy level you are apt to forge ahead, oblivious to the fact that you are running right over the people around you. You may believe you are your own law or are above the law. Too much attachment to action and to being right are also potentials within you.
Learning to slow down, developing patience and the capacity to wait and cultivating a more steady, peaceful spirit will enable you to express the higher creativity, originality, and inspired passion of which you are capable.
Mars Opposition Neptune:
Your masculine, yang, assertive energies combine (somewhat tensely and uneasily) with your urge for transcendence, grandeur, and a life beyond the every day or material. This could be expressed through you in various ways. At best you are an inspired creative genius with the drive and need to physically manifest your dreams and visions. (This may, nevertheless, be hard on those around you or the part of you that wants a normal, orderly existence, as you tend to become fanatical and to ignore the more mundane stuff).
You may have a great deal of fantasy about and infatuation with masculinity, male power, which can lead to feelings of personal inadequacy, sexual confusion, an overidentification with macho strengths and values, muscles, competition, or simply an unclear relationship with men. You may idealize the man (father, husband, son) and fail to perceive them accurately. You tend to go to extremes, either denying all male attributes, functions or values, or secretly worshipping them.
You may also have great aspirations and far reaching ambitions which may or may not be practically realizable. However, for you, to live is to dream. Strive for complete honesty, with yourself as well as others, because the downside of this pattern is a tendency to evade or deceive or simply ignore what is. Also avoid the tendency to use either your physical strength or your sexual power and charisma in an exaggerated way. Misdirection of these energies can weaken your vitality considerably.
Ultimately you may be led to devote your strength and all your actions to something that transcends personal gratification and personal desire, becoming a channel for a higher power to work through.
Uranus is Retrograde:
All of the above is complicated by the fact that in prior times, you experienced great personal instability as a result of impersonal, collective impulses toward change (during a time of revolution, political upheaval, war, etc.). You may well have been an agent of these movements, with a lingering inclination toward radical solutions, extremism, flauntingly disregarding social mores. Or you may have become a reactionary, fearing and resisting all reforms or departures from the "main stream". It is thus difficult for you to be balanced and fair towards any eccentricities (in others or even in yourself). A misuse of science or technology, perhaps participating in experiments which were harmful to you or others, is also indicated. Thus, you may have a deep distrust of or an attraction/repulsion toward science and technological advancement.
Uranus Opposition Neptune:
You and many others born the year you were are inherently open to experiencing unusual states of consciousness and higher inspiration. However, your grasp of reality may be rather shaky at times. In your incarnational past you practiced extreme methods that forced open your higher spiritual centers before you were prepared to constructively channel those energies and/or you were involved in extreme idealistic systems of thought that were not particularly well-grounded. It is important for you to moderate this extremism and to stabilize yourself. Any mind-altering practice or substance should be utilized with caution. Develop regularity and rhythm in your life, and use your inspirational energies to infuse your ordinary life with imagination. Too much focus on utopia or spirituality can lead to disorientation. You easily get too "far-out".
Jupiter Conjunct North Node:
As you follow your growth direction, you will attract teachers, benefactors, patrons, spiritual and material aid, and an expanded sphere of involvement and influence in others' lives -far more than you initially imagine or conceive of. Trust your impulses toward generosity and have faith in a higher plan.
Chapter 6: Soft Aspects
The following is a description of your GIFTS and STRENGTHS which can help you work with your major life challenges. These are abilities and qualities of heart, mind, and soul which are quite natural to you. You probably take them for granted. Because these represent the lines of least resistance for you, you may rely too much upon them at times; hence, there are some cautions suggested. Still, these are the areas where good flows into your life and/or where you have considerable inner resources.
Moon Sextile Saturn:
Your ability to persevere and endure, to commit yourself (to a person, a career, or any path of endeavor) until you achieve completion or some degree of mastery, are strengths which will see you through much of the vicissitude of life. If nothing else, your persistence enables you to achieve and then hold on to the things you cherish.
Emotionally you tend to be loyal, especially to your family, and you are apt to have life-long friends as well. Your conscientiousness and sense of responsibility to those you care for is strong, and thus you establish a firm, stable base of security for yourself in the world. Especially as you grow older, this family loyalty and faithfulness is both very important and very nurturing for you. Relationships with the elders in your family are also apt to be highly beneficial to you in your life.
The upholding of worthwhile traditions and the capacity to benefit from the experience and wisdom of senior family members are important keys to your fulfillment and success.
No trines or sextiles:
You are a person that thrives on challenges and your greatest gift may be your willingness to work hard for what you have. While you take it for granted that effort, attention, and discipline are necessary for success and happiness, others often complain when things do not come easily. This allows you to succeed in the long run. If you ever allow yourself to feel overwhelmed by challenges, to pity yourself, or be jealous of others who seem to have an easier path, then you need to shake yourself loose from this indulgence and develop the inner strength and determination that are beautiful and special qualities of yours.